wow, I wasn’t familiar with this bi artist. She’s raising money to go to the Empowering Women of Color Conference at her gofundme page.
Misogynists wanna attack straight women, but are too cowardly, and instead attack a group that also might sleep with men, but doesn’t have the protection of heterosexual society. Bi women.
I feel like this is so super important and needs to be addressed further. It’s almost feels like a super important piece of the sapphobia conversation, that hasn’t been put into words so succinctly yet.
It’s not that other groups of women DON’T experience misogyny, but that in men’s eyes, bisexual women are different from straight women (we are less valuable, less pure, dirty) but are still “available” to men (whereas lesbians have made themselves unavailable).
It makes me wonder more about how this particular dynamic plays into violence specifically against bi women.
this happens to me every single time i am sick to death of seeing the same thing
why are you reblogging this oh god please don’t
Because you’re right
weaponized femininity may not be personally empowering to you but it can be to people whose expressions of femininity are erased or used against them so if yr white and/or cis and/or able-bodied and yr gonna critique it, like
remember that maybe not everything is for us?
DON’T come into my ask telling me not all lesbians are like that are you fucking kidding me
i know. we know. i haven’t said anything about lesbians that wasn’t referring to specific people involved who were lesbians. this isn’t about lesbians. bi women’s lives are not about lesbians this isn’t about you for 5 fucking seconds we are talking about us
[TW for abuse, rape, slurs]
I think the thing that bothers me the most about radfems claiming that bisexual women are abused more because they are either 1) around men more or 2) because they are experiencing lesbophobia is because I was abused by a straight man and by a lesbian, because I was bisexual.
When I told my male ex that I was bisexual, an already toxic relationship because abusive quickly. I was constantly monitored. I was not allowed to have male friends. If I had female friends, he had to be there to make sure I didn’t cheat on him. I was called a slut & a whore. I was called a bitch & a liar when I wouldn’t have a threesome with him, because “what good is a bisexual if she doesn’t bring home other women?” I was coerced into having sex with him to “make up” for the fact that I did not bring home a girl. I was abused physically & mentally.
When I was with my female ex, I thought I could be open about my bisexuality. I thought she would understand, since she was part of the LGBT+ community as well, but I was wrong. I opened up at the beginning of our relationship about my bisexuality. I was not allowed to go out with friends, men or women, unless I was going in a group of more than three. I was constantly accused of cheating. I was, again, called a slut, a whore, etc. I was pinched, hard, whenever she thought I was looking at another person. I was told I was “too flirty” with everyone I met, & that I led people on. She told me once that I deserved what happened with my previous abusive ex. Again, I was abused physically & mentally.
In both cases, I was abused because I was bisexual. Not because I was attracted to women, but because I was attracted to men & women. My bisexuality was used against me in both cases. The harmful stereotype of bisexuals being promiscuous led to my abuse, not once, but twice.
So don’t tell me that bisexual women & nonbinary sexuals are abused because they are attracted to women. And don’t tell me that bisexual women & nonbinary bisexuals are abused more because we are around men more (if that were true, why wouldn’t straight women receiver higher rates of abuse & violence?). Bisexual women & nonbinary bisexuals do not need your victim blaming. We do not need you to speak over us, to explain to us why we were abused. We need you to listen. To stand in solidarity with us. To not leave us behind in discussions of LGBT+ issues.
We need you to understand that biphobia is a very real & harmful thing, & that it cannot be overlooked as simply hating women for liking other women. Our experiences are valid, & deserve recognition.
i’m taking a lil break bc every time i check the bi tags it’s like 30% bi folks trying to talk out and heal from all the shit a bunch of awful cis lesbians were doing and saying over the past few days
and 70% tardy-to-the-party monosexuals claiming that bi people discussing a specific incident in which lesbians were harassing bi women and rape survivors is lesbophobia and the same as blaming lesbians for all the oppression that has ever existed
like i literally can’t with monosexuals ever anymore forever get away from me
can we fucking talking about the fact that through the course of today, a comment about rape statistics among bisexual women got turned into a victim blaming, id-erasing extravaganza and has resulted in a monosexual accusing us all of giving non-stop blowjobs and calling us disgusting
can we talk about how fucking gross that is that bi women said “we are the highest risk group for rape” and monosexuals said “you’re disgusting cock suckers”
Are you sure about this?
Going from recorded statistics (and yes, there’ll be underreporting) about 0.4% of the total US population experienced a sexual assault over the last 12 months while in prisons the rate was ten times that (around 4%).
Given that bisexual women are a fragment of that 0.4% and that men are a majority of that 4% wouldn’t it be more fair to say that male prisoners are the highest risk group for rape?
That said, whoever said that is a wankshaft.
"highest risk group" referring to sexual orientation specifically.
sorry i thought that was clear but i can see how it might not be, out of context.
One of the problems with the gay community is that they so often assume that heterosexuality is the default and homosexuality is the alternative sexuality- defined only by how different it is from heterosexuality. In this view bisexuality has no meaning, except for a group of people hanging between the two, waiting to be defined by whether they are currently normal or not. If they aren’t in a relationship that is distinctly not heterosexual, then they might as well be heterosexual. Even if they’re dating someone of the same gender, they’re only tenuously queer, because they could at any time change back to the default state. This is why single butch bisexual women are said to have straight passing privilege, and single femme lesbians aren’t- it’s not actually about how likely you are to be hurt or attacked for being queer. It’s about how far away from this binarist idea of heterosexuality you are.