barbara. farts and crafts. comics. queer shit. vancouver, canada. she/her. bi. queer. tender. trying.
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i put the bi in fbi and i will 100% come for ur biphobic ass and take u to bi jail


bottom line, it’s just polite to be sensitive to the fact that the person you’re in a relationship with wants to (and should) feel special. it’s one thing to be attracted to blue eyes AND brown eyes, but it’s rude to date someone with blue eyes and make sure to mention every chance you can how great brown eyes are. it’s okay to like both, it’s not okay to make someone not feel special for something they cannot help.

hi this post is a load of horse shit and here are some reasons why:

  • my identity has nothing to do with my partner(s). it is there to explain who i am and what my experience is, and not not make my partner(s) feel special.
  • sidenote: not once has my partner ever expressed feeling less special when i assert my ID because he is an adult human whose validation does not hinge on me pretending to be monosexual, and not a whiny biphobic pissbaby
  • there is no history or culture or community associated with people attracted to both brown and blue eyes. people are not oppressed for being attracted both blue and brown eyes. you are bordering one some why-do-we-need-labels, love-is-love, we-all-bleed-red nonsense and i would suggest never using that analogy again ever forever.
  • bisexuals who mention we are bisexual every chance we get, especially when in monogamous relationships, often do so because our identities are constantly erased. monosexuals prefer, even if they know we are bisexual, to label us straight or gay because that’s easier for them to understand. your solution to that erasure is to erase ourselves in order to supposedly spare our hyper-insecure partners’ feelings
  • i would not date anyone who expected me to lie by omission about who i am for their own sense of validation because that’s really gross and awful
  • you just hugely erased poly ppl and arguably people who id as multiple genders so was that bad wording or do you just think these people aren’t as grossly insecure as this imaginary partner who can’t handle bi identities
Apr 18th at 7AM / via: cowboythegirl / op: cowboythegirl / tagged: biphobia. bi tumblr. / reblog / 4 notes


bisexual means attracted to men and women. bilingual means you speak men and women. bichrome means having two colours, men and women.

Apr 16th at 8PM / via: disease-we-crave / op: disease-we-crave / reblog / 131 notes

i think one of the things that bothers me most about the whole “access to straight privilege” thing is that

i’m in a monogamous, different-gender relationship with a cis dude and im not often mistaken for straight in my day-to-day.

i am obviously, aggressively, obnoxiously bisexual. people rarely mistake me for straight. they willfully ignore basic clues and even being flat out told that i am bisexual because they don’t understand how to negotiate my identity. they assign me as straight or lesbian because it’s easier for them to understand.


Y’know people say shit about social media along the lines of ‘OMG no one cares what anyone had for breakfast’ and like.

I do? I care. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care. I want to hear that the people I care about are having delicious breakfasts or saw something odd at work or flirted with a cute barista. Or just any little thoughts they have that they feel are worth sharing.

I’ve always kind of assumed that’s how you’re supposed to feel about your friends.

Apr 16th at 2PM / via: disease-we-crave / op: queerlyobscure / tagged: cute this is cute. / reblog / 17,800 notes



Jelly Belly Chairman donates $5000 to help turn back the rights of trans kids in California to use the bath room and change rooms of their gender identity, not assigned sex.
Source: THE AGE

Apr 16th at 10AM / via: dysfunctionalqueer / op: waitingfordesire / reblog / 14,803 notes

(Source: captain-raptor)

Apr 16th at 10AM / via: sadqueer / op: captain-raptor / tagged: shark. / reblog / 54,451 notes

Teaching Consent to Small Children →





A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

Yes, consent is nonsexual, too!

Not only that, but one of the reasons many child victims of sexual abuse don’t reach out is that they don’t have the understanding or words for what is happening to them, and why it isn’t okay. Teaching kids about consent helps them build better relationships and gives them the tools to seek help if they or a friend need our protection.

Teaching consent is applicable to all spheres of behavior, all ages, all genders, so why aren’t we instituting teaching consent and the right to boundaries to every age group?

Apr 16th at 9AM / via: bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac / op: afrafemme / tagged: consent. / reblog / 22,602 notes